Falling In and Out Again {Jayden}

[Alaric Xavier Darius]

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[atrb=background,http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t121/TemTamTemari/ricmid.png] Hogwarts hadn't changed since his school life. Well, not that he expected it to. He'd been a student two years prior. But still, there was something about returning to the place where you spent the majority of your teenage life that filled him with a sense of nostalgia. Alaric slung his duffel bag over his shoulder, his violin case hanging in his left hand as he followed the stream of students who had spent most of the morning in the fresh air, into the Entrance Hall. He wasn't a teacher - too young for that - and he most certainly wasn't a student - too old for that. Upon leaving Hogwarts two years prior, Alaric had used his skills with spells and herbology to become a member of the St. Mungos staff. He had risen through the ranks, and currently was the Head Doctor for the Spell Damage department. At the present time, however, he was on leave at Hogwarts, to take up the running of the Hospital Wing. Not only that, but he'd been commissioned by the Headmistress to act as security. So, here he was: bag packed and violin in hand, ready to start doing whatever the hell it was he was supposed to be doing. He knew all about the orders Helena had given him, but those weren't the only orders he was following. What most people didn't realise, was that upon leaving Hogwarts, Alaric had been approached by a rag tag group of young Death Eaters, who wanted him to join. Course, he took them up on their offer. His parents had been Death Eaters, and they had raised him to follow in their footsteps. He was the perfect son: loyal, obedient, subservient. He always followed orders and he never complained in public. He loathed his parents, and himself, but there was nothing he could do about it. Neither his mother or his father ever listened to a word he said. They were too busy with their dark magics. A soft sigh left the 19 year old healer/death eater, as he looked around the bustling Entrance Hall. He looked so out of place in his tan trench coat, baggy jeans and untucked black buttoned shirt, among students and teachers alike dressed in robes of black. His short hair was slightly mussed, from the rain and where he'd been running his hands through it. As he made to move towards the staircase, to head for the Hospital Wing, a student brushed past him, making him stop and turn slightly to follow the blonde's movements. When he realised it wasn't the one he thought it was, he frowned and looked away. that was when he saw him. Jayden Morshead. He hadn't seen the kid in 2 years, not since he'd graduated. Course, they hadn't parted on the best of terms. The last time he'd seen Jayden, the two had been having a fight, that had ended with Jayden walking away and ending their relationship. Course, he could still remember the first time he and the 17 year old had met. It was during Ric's 6th year. He was Prefect, pureblood bias, and a playboy. How he missed those days... Class ended as it did everyday, with the Slytherin group dominating when it came to skill, and the Hufflepuffs when it came to being slow and dimwitted. Course, that was how Alaric saw the Hufflepuffs any day of the week, no matter if their blood was pure or mixed. He was a legend, who cared what everyone else thought. Everyone knew his name; Alaric Darius, son of renowned wizards Katherine and Damien, Slytherin Prefect. He was famous for both his intelligence, and his skills, and the ability to bed both men and women without struggle. He hadn't had anyone in a while, but that didn't matter. Those who knew his reputation and wanted him made themselves clear, and then he would take his pick. It was as simple as that. That was the way it had bee, and the way it would always be. "Oi, Ric, what are you planning to do for the weekend?" The prefect's attention shifted to one of his 'friends' and he laughed before rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I was thinking I might go dorm hopping and see if I can't get a little action..." The usual response was a hardy laugh from all his friends. His answer was usually the same most weekends, unless there was a trip to Hogsmeade. Then he usually joined them for the day, and left his antics until the evening. Ric shook his head, following his friends out of the dunegons. Walking a bit behind the others, he scarcely noticed the 4th year Hufflepuff boy until his friends were surrounding him, picking on him for dropping his books. Ric soon caught up to the group, but instead of joining his friends he stopped them. "Ah, leave him alone..." his eyes glanced among his friends, who stopped almost immediately, "he's just a kid... 'Sides, I want to get to lunch before all the good food is taken. You know what the first years are like. They shove their faces the first chance they get." When his friends reluctantly agreed, he waited for them to wander off before he knelt to help the fourth year pick up all his books. His eyes met the Hufflepuff's, just as their fingers made contact. In that moment, it was like he was burned. Pulling back rather abruptly, he wiggled his fingers before he lifted his gaze once more to the boy. He hadn't noticed the first time, but the kid was cute... very cute, and seemed to have developed well for his age. He smiled faintly, handing the boy the last of his books before he stood and looked away sharply. Damn. Why did it have to be this kid? he could already feel his pulse racing and his heart skipping a beat. He never felt this sort of thing. It was like... hell, he didn't even know what it was like. When the kid straightened also and the two were standing in front of each other, Ric took another moment to look at him. When the Hufflepuff caught him staring, he flushed and looked away, raking a nervous hand through his hair. What the hell was he doing? "Oi, Ric, what are you doing?!" His friends shouting caught his attention, and he looked away from the fourth year, mumbling an 'excuse me' before he tore past him and joined his friends. Of course, that hadn't been the last time the two would meet. Confused by what he was feeling, Ric sought out the fourth year, and learnt of his name and who he was. Soon enough, he and Jayden had started a relationship. It didn't take long for Alaric to realise his love for the younger boy, but of course, he could never tell his friends about that love, or the fact that every night he and Jayden spent hours in each other's arms, for the better half of those two years he had left at Hogwarts. It was only until his last year, when one of his friends had gotten under Jayden's skin about being gay. Jayden had accidentally blirted out the fact that he was dating Alaric, and then the argument had started. When Alaric blatantly denied their relationship, breaking his own heart as he broke Jayden's, the younger boy vehemently refused to ever speak to him again, and their relationship ended with an audience. Now... here he was, after two years of not seeing the man he loved. When Jayden's gaze swept towards his own, Alaric paled and looked away, his heart clenching as he forced himself to not look at the man that he still loved so very much. As he felt the blonde's gaze on him, he continued on up the stair, his hand clenched white around the handle of his violin case.

[jay]

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[atrb=background,http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t121/TemTamTemari/jaymid.png] His second year as a Prefect was being easy for him. Especially the first days back. He spent most of his time during free period to escort lost First Years to classes that were on the other side of the castle. And getting in between whatever disturbances that might occur during this confusing return to school. But evidently he’d done a good enough job of it last year to be asked to do so again this year. His final year. This entire experience of Hogwarts would soon be over and done with. And he’d be out trying to live his life. Though he really didn’t have a clue as to what he wanted to do. But he’d made some really wonderful friends. And some of them were willing to help line him up in the Aurors Office upon graduation. So he guessed that’d be his best route to take. But right now, he walked the corridors of Hogwarts. He had two very lost First years behind him as he walked. He explained to them how’d they’d taken a wrong turn down a different hall and ended up on the other side of where they needed to be. As they got closer to where they had to be, the hallways got noticeably livelier with people wandering around. And when they got to the hallway he stopped and pointed down it. Telling them that they wouldn’t be able to miss the classroom now. And just when he thought that was over a few more new student began a barrage of questions. And it took a few minutes for him to handle them all. And once he did, and his view of the corridor and everyone in it, his heart dropped. The color in his face almost vanished completely when he saw him. Like seeing a ghost, but this problem was very real. But he quickly recovered himself. even after two years he still pissed as hell with him. this feeling was so different from the first time they’d met. Being a gay muggle-born wizard made him a target, back then and even now a problem would come up about it. Mainly from the pureblood Slytherins, but he’d found a way in dealing with them; outright avoidance if he could. And if not, he fought back. But this was neither the time nor the place to talk to him. So he spun on his heel for a quick get-a-way and headed down the first hall he came too and knew where he was, he’d be able to circle around Ric completely and avoid any company at the same time. He knew the odd routes; he’d used to take them all the time. Though now Jayden had begun to shake a little, seeing him standing there made him remember what Ric had done. Though it was Jayden’s own mistake in saying something, he’d hoped, he knew that Ric would take up for it. Or at least that was what he’d hoped he would have done. And even though he could still feel the sting throughout his body he couldn’t help but think back. The first time they’d met he’d saved him. And the last time they spoke, he’d deserted him. He rounded a few corners and came to a halt at a dead end. He came here a lot when he needed to think. Something’s just hadn’t changed. The hallways had led him to a small outside corridor that just ended, and gave a spectacular view of the lake below. And he leaned on the ledge and just breathed. He needed to breathe right now. The shock was more than he could handle right now. But he stood there, allowing himself to hate Ric. He needed to, he had to. But seeing him made it very difficult.

[Alaric Xavier Darius]

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[atrb=background,http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t121/TemTamTemari/ricmid.png] Oh yeah... Jayden knew he was here. He caught the way the 7th year glanced at him before he froze and turned away. Ric's eyes narrowed slightly, before he slowly made his way up the stair, absent-mindedly following Jayden. As he trailed the kid, he couldn't help but remember the times they'd snuck out of their respective dorms to meet up in the prefect's bathroom. The bubbles had been multiple colours, with multiple fragrances. Of course, they hadn't paid much attention to what the bubbles had looked or smelled like, they were too busy taking each other's clothes off and delving into passion. Oh how Alaric could make Jayden cry out with the lightest of touches. A faint smile met the healer's lips at the memory of that, and he quickly pushed it out of his thoughts as he continued on. During their time together they'd done plenty of this, so Alaric always knew where Jayden was going. Sure enough, he continued along, and watched as Jayden turned to the dead end balcony where he could look out over the lake. Alaric's body was stiff as he stepped forward, his footsteps light. A short ways away he stopped, sure that Jayden couldn't hear him as he leaned against the wall. After all this time, he didn't know how he could face Jay. He knew he'd hurt him... when he'd denied ever having a relationship with him. Ric remembered the look on Jay's face when he flat out refused that he was gay. The betrayal, the heartbreak. The anger. Ric's heart skipped a beat and he looked away, brow furrowing. While Jay was preoccupied, Alaric knelt and opened his violin case. The instrument was beautiful, given to him by his grandfather before he passed away. His fingers delicately ran over the varnished wood as he lifted the violin, leaning back against the corridor as he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He hadn't played in almost two years - not since Jayden had ended their relationship. He had played for Jayden every single night up in the astronomy tower, where they would never be...could never be discovered. And yet, there was still so much that had to be said. he knew Jay hated him. He knew it. And he'd tried to forget about the blonde in the two years since he'd graduated. He'd tried moving on, he'd gotten a job and had joined an organisation interested in death? He lifted the bow and slowly began to play, the melody filling the atmosphere. Ric still didn't know if Jay would even talk to him, or if all this was completely useless. His eyes opened slowly, his dark hues lifting to watch the Hufflepuff's tense back. He remembered every part of his lover's body, the softness of his skin, the way his hair felt when he ran his fingers through those blonde locks, the delicious weight of his body when they were crushed together. And now... all there was was hate. It was his fault, he knew it. A part of him wanted to repair that part, but the other part still held the pureblood Slytherin upbringing, that knew Jayden was muggleborn, that despised that. The music died, and he stepped forward, watching as Jay finally turned to face him. a smirk met his lips, and he placed his violin back into the case before moving closer. "Long time, no see..."

[jay]

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[atrb=background,http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t121/TemTamTemari/jaymid.png] Jay took in the fresh air. And slowly he let the overwhelming emotions leave his system. Or at least fade back to where they’d come from. He hadn’t at all been prepared to see him there. And it’d freaked him out. He’d spent an entire school year shutting himself away from how he’d felt about Ric. He’d spent so much time trying to forget and get over him. It hadn’t been easy. He’d loved him more than anything. And it had all changed so quickly. His eyes closed and he exhaled deeply when he heard the violin. He knew he should have known he’d probably follow him. He knew that he probably knew where to go and find him. But did he want to see him? Could he handle seeing him? Though now it looked like he had no choice. He’d pretty much put himself in a corner. He’d hoped that Ric would just let him be, but if he wanted to talk Jay would listen like always. And that was the most he was going to do for him right now. Even if he didn’t think Ric deserved it. He was still mad with him, even though he’d thought he’d gotten over him, seeing Ric had proved that wrong. But he wasn’t going to let Ric see that weakness. He wasn’t going to let that have any power over him “You still play that thing?” he spoke quietly. He turned his head slightly to look at him. And he hadn’t changed much. He still looked the way he did two years ago. He still looked like someone who had taken his breath away. Just seeing him used to make him smile. And just hearing the violin let him remember how Ric’s fingers felt gliding across his skin. But the feeling burned across him. And feeling he hadn’t felt for so long mixed in with the hurt. He turned his head to look back out at the lake. “You’ve got a lot of nerve following me. Looking at me. Even speaking to me.” He said, the words tasted like venom in his own mouth.

[Alaric Xavier Darius]

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[atrb=background,http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t121/TemTamTemari/ricmid.png] His eyes lowered to the violin once more and he smiled rather wryly. So, Jayden obviously remember about the times he'd played for him. All the times, when they'd sit in bed together during the few months that he'd been Head Boy before their argument, and Alaric would play the violin for Jayden as he fell asleep. The Healer sighed, shaking his head as he stepped closer. He loved Jayden, he knew he did, and he was wrong for hurting the Hufflepuff 7th year. His eyes closed and he took a deep breath. He'd denied anything with Jayden because his father had told him that if he didn't "You're right...I have a lot of nerve..." Alaric stopped just behind Jay, before he pulled the 7th year close, his arms wrapping around the younger teen's waist. As much of a player that he had been while he'd been at school, he hadn't slept with anyone since Jayden had ended things with them. Every time he'd even looked at someone, he'd seen Jayden, and that had just left him feeling rather disinterested in anyone but the muggleborn. He pressed his forehead against Jayden's shoulder before he finally released him and stood beside him, looking out towards the lake. "I have a lot to atone for," he murmured, shoving his hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his heels. "There was so much that I did wrong, and I know I hurt you. I just..." He trailed off, frowning slightly before he looked towards Jayden. He was always one who couldn't put his thoughts into words all that well. It was so much easier for him to put his thoughts into actions, which was most likely the reason he got so much action. His eyes lingered on his former boyfriend, and he bit his lip again before turning to face Jayden, his hand lifting to touch the boy's shoulder. "I'm sorry... Jay..."

[jay]

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[atrb=background,http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t121/TemTamTemari/jaymid.png] Jayden didn’t stop him. he allowed himself to be pulled into that hug. And he didn’t push away. His hands were pinned between them. Instinctively he returned the hug. His fingers slightly clutched to Ric’s clothing until his arm slid up and around his neck. And in the moment everything melted. All his anger just drifted away. That long lost feeling of being completely safe was there again. He’d always felt safe with him. And now, after all this time he still had that effect on him. Like nothing in the world could touch him anymore. But eventually Ric back away. And everything returned. He’d spent so much time trying to get over him, and he’d finally started to feel ok with himself; Ric had to show up. “Wait.” He rasped. Jay silenced him before he could finish an apology, or try to finish one anyway. “Don’t say it.” he spoke, his words barely audible. “Because you don’t know what you have to say it for.” He paused to exhaled, he breathing wavered. “It’s not just what was said. Or what was done. Though that was most of it. It was how I saw you when you said it.” he said, having to breath. The tears were already forming in his eyes. “And to see that you were even capable of doing something like that, absolutely disgusted me. It made me feel……………..” he went quiet. “I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t stand the thought of being around you again, after I saw what you could do to me; if it meant protecting your image.” He closed his eyes momentarily. “And I will not be done that way again. I won’t let it. And as long as I feel that you’re capable of that, I can’t accept an apology from you.” He spoke. “And that is why I broke it off. Not because I stopped loving you. Just so you know.” he said. That last words came out hard but true. And that he knew Ric knew. Jay had always been honest with him, and he wasn’t going to change that now. He felt that he had to let him know. And he could help but shed his tears now, quietly. He stepped closer and Ric didn’t move. And now Jay had his arms around him. his head rested on his shoulder, waiting for him to say something. Ric had hurt him more than he ever thought was possible. But he still loved Ric regardless.